* ARGH!! *

*exasperated*
My brain is dead from all those hours of studying.
Today, saw my darling broke down.
hais. look what stress can do to us.
Causes FLOODING..
N flooding will lead to the formation of flooplains, leeves and calls for river management policies..
Hehs. Paiseh paiseh.. Studied too much geog le!
Hmms. Oh wells.
I really can't wait till the end of exams.
By then, it will be ME being too busy fer ANEONE.
HA.
I feel kinda pathetic right now.
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE TIME FOR ME AT ALL?!!
sobsobsob.
*exasperated* someone kill me pls...

* Sixteen days till the end.. BUT one day till the beginning*

Yups. the Big As is just a day away.
But it's oni sixteen days till it all ends.
Being sumone as ambitious as me,
I have had my post-As schedule quite fully booked.
Hah.

Oh wells..
Recently, I am feeling invisible again.
Nahs. No spelling mistakes..
I N V I S I B L E
Hais. Sad but true, ya?
I really don't wish to fade into the background.
*shrugs*
I just needed . . . . . .

FLor gave me this quote . .
"marriage can take a backseat - just as long as romance is behind the wheel."
I still don't really get her.
Hahs.

`Saw3 is coming out soon. I'm watching it alone.

*Amunching Race 2006*

TADA! BEST JC2 TEAM EVER!!
SHAHRIN, EUGENE n CLEMENT
ZOOMED IN :
indeed... Black is touching Gene's sensitive spot>.<

And finally one photo with our dear facilitator, GORDAN =D

Amunching Race '06 was a totally different experience from 05.
I actually participated in the race with FOUR GUYS.
Actually, FIVE -- adding in my facilitator, Gordan.
We started off later than aneone else.
And, helmi sprinted out of sch the moment we decided to set off.
HIS SPEED o.O"
I tried catching up but within abt four hundred metres or so,
I was totally out of breath.
The guys had all seriously forgotten that they had a gurl on their team!!
Hah. The places were easily found and all.
But its the running part that wus.. urms.. how to put it..
AH! A KILLER!!
Running thru citylink mall wus the worst lahs.
I used to run thru that path everyday during work.
But today, the air con seemed to be extremely cold.
Cld feel my lungs, my stomach contracting lahs!!
But amazingly, helmi, black and kingkong sprinted lyke hell as usual.
Later then they complained of chest pains.

Funny things happened along the way.
Quite alot of "cockups".
Haha. But we still managed to get third bahs.
BUT!! we cld haf been the WINNER!
that's a bigbig point!!
We cld haf been a winner if this year's race wus a true amunching race.
This year.. sadly to sae.. wus all about how capable you are of cheating.
Not pinpointing aneone.
But, seriously, tink of it, it is "humanly impossible" to perform THAT well.
Okay, enuff said.
I still think we are the BIG WINNERS anyway.
*grins*
I had fun
though the food wusn't great
and though I nearly died. running.

Alrights. Updating abt sum other stuffs.
Just now, I wus tidying my room.
Came across some old stuffs.
My old diaries and alot of old letters.
haha. Read thru abit.
Brought back some memories in some sense, I guess.
I think I am the only one who rmbs memories that no one actually takes note of.
It wld be surprisingly sweet if someone does. =)

`Iknowthesemightjustendallofasudden..Iwillbefine,Ihopeso.

*notsobadday*

Hmms.
I am so proud of myself today.
Did three whole hrs of nonstop mugging.
Completed maths paper and my geog revision and started on abit of econs.
Tml's amunching race!
And the most recent update wus that we are against 15/16 teams.
Oh mans.

Sianned.
Today got the urge to go find boyfren.
But guess he will be too busy for me.
And so I resisted that urge to do so and forced myself to mug on..
Hais.
Won't be seeing him anymore, I guess.

Hope that we win tml!
CONQUER THE UNIVERSE zhengfuyuzhou!!!

`I know that I was nowhere near perfect...but.. hais..

*holdingbacktears*

Holding back tears have always been an impossible challenge for someone as emotional as me.
I cry for the utmost minor stuffs.
Sometimes, even my own boyfren can't stand me.
No doubt, I am a extreme crybaby.
I never deny that fact.
Hmms. But you know what?
I am holding back my tears right now.
Sometimes, it really gets very tiring to cry n cry on.
I get tired too,
though my tear-ducts are hyperactive almost all the time.

Hah.
I get overemotional all the time.
I guess no one can stand me. not even myself.
Right now, I really wish fer someone to talk to.
Someone who can stand my tears and emotions.
Hmms. I know exams are very NEAR!
Just a couple of days away, but I am facing all these shits.
The SHITs are increasing lahs.
In sch and at home?!!
Can't I ever have some peace?
I just wanna be happy.
Haish.
Home's becoming a place that I dread most.
Sometimes, I question myself, "is this really someplace I call home?"
haha. I don't even know the answer myself.
My life is nowhere near perfect at all.
Hais.

`Ireallyreallycannottaketheseshitsanymore.
IfeelasthoughIamgoingtobreakdownanymomentsoon.

*Mondays = Restless Days*

Mondays are indeed my restless days.
Never fails to make me feel drowsy and super restless throughout the day de.
Hmms. Today's a complete waste of time.
Geog's alright. But the concepts I know alrdy.
So, basically I wus stoning away my time lahs.

Oh yarhs. WE"RE JOINING THE AMUNCHING RACE!
Haha. the oni JCs TWO team.
haha. Got me, gene, helmi, black n clement.
haha. I must be mad.
I ACTUALLY agreed to join a team with all GUYS?!
haha. Oh wells. We're so going to haf fun lorhs=D

`jealousyjealousy

*OPENHSE*

Open House wus yesterday.
It was a great BLAST!!
Hmms. I really think that the JC1s did a great job this year.
Everything wus quite wellorganised n all.
The atmosphere wus great!
Hmms. Oh yarhs!
The best part of it all, was when you really witnessed the Pioneer Spirit...
during the MASS DANCE n FUN DANCE.
I think we danced non-stop fer more than five times.
Haha. My partner wus totally worn out by the end of it.
Alvin and Guowei did a very weird but funny version of the Mass Dance.
SO cool lahs! haha.
The JC1s were all very enthu and all, inviting their friends to the dance floor.
SOSOSO HIGH.
Flor! WE shld go dancing soon!! =D

I wanna update sumthing else todae.
I had a dream last night.
Dreamt abt sumone whom I didnt think I wud be doing so.
It's a "she", so don't be mistaken.
Do i miss her?
Or isit just that, there is something holding me back?
=/=/=/=/=/=/
Okay.. got a tight schedule today.
Planned to finish all the rest of my revision by wed.
OH YA! The guys are going for AMUNCHING RACE!
It's going to be so FUN! =D

`iwantedmore.

*MUGGINGMUGGING!*

Hmms. Haven't been blogging here fer quite sum time.
Been mugging really hard.
Feeling more prepared by the end of each day's revision.
HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!
Feel so proud of myself. =)
Jer's right.
I'm better off this way...
Yups. I'll stay strong and become better =)
I love my friends!!
Haha. Received my third gd luck charm today.
You guys rocks! =)

`given a chance, I wouldn't wanna have enemies.. But I wasn't given any.

*Curse the HAZE*

Hate the Haze.
It's worse than anything else.
Global warming is being worsened by the stupid farmers.
And the haze is killing me lahs.
Recently, I have got problems breathing lahs.
THink my respiratory system is deteriorating.
URGH!

This supposedly study break has jus began.
Am forced to go back to school to WASTE my time.
Stupid.
Seriously lahs. argh.

`Iwanalltheseshittoend.

reality unveiled

some days ago marked the day which everything seems to "shui luo shi chu".

define a perfect life.
rich family background, a perfect love life,
good looks, smart and many more.
many hope to achieve aspects of such a perfect life.
but, they always end up suffering in the end.
these people tend to be the most influential people.
when things go wrong,
they tend to be the last group of people that outsiders will blame.

they dont dare to confront their own problems.
they only whine about it-
saying that if the next time such stuffs happen again they will what what what.
but in the end,
it's all "kong kou shuo bai hua" only.

it hurts a lot.
"di sheng xia qi" to make peace with them and what do we get in the end?
hostility!!!!!!!!!
sorry for the harsh tone.
i just really hate it.
i bear grudges! at least i'm not afraid to say it, unlike others.

the first time in my whole entire 18 years of living i'm doing so and what do i get in turn?
such stupid treatment! is it worth it then?!

stupid or naive or gullible you may call me.
but , somehow, i still trust people.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i dont mind me being the one who's suffering in silence.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i cried almost every night for the stupidest stuff.

but, i guess life's not about all these SHITTY stuff.
at least there're still people out there who cares for me and will stick by me.
what other people said in the past mean nothing anymore.
i rather direct all my attention, love and care to those who will always be there.

no matter what, i'll still trust You.
i know that all men are fallible.
i know that You can only be the one who's able to give me unconditional love.

i vow to study hard.
i'll prove to them and the others out there that,
i'll shine so much for You.

i'll prove to them that i may not be able to have a perfect life but at least it's a fulfilling one - one without regrets! :)

*twenty seven days till the big A*

hmms.
This week had been rather eventful fer me.
Lots of laughters as well as lots of tears.
Haha.
Realised a great deal abt my life.
It ain't that simple to be me either.
alot of ppl seem to think that I have a great life and all.
Haha.
If only, everything is as simple as that...

`ireallyreallywishtobehappier..

=(

Sick and Broken-ed
what more can I say? hais

* Augustine's Wedding *

30 September, the most important day of Augustine's life.

He's finally married! =)

Am so happy fer him.

Morning.. Met Flor, GS, Eugene at cck ctrl.
Rushed to Northvale Condo fer the matrimony.
Nicenicenice.
The bride, qianwen, is so beautiful in her white tube gown..
Urms.. the exhange of marriage vows didn't actually touched me as much as I had tot it wud be. mine wud be different! hees.
Sneaked away immediately after the prayers fer the newly-wed, to escape frm phototaking.
Hehs. Am camera-shy mahs.
Went to sit ard during the reception before we went to get food for ourselves.

Ard twelve plus, me n flor went to gene's place fer movie.
Watched "Just my luck".
It's sooooo nice lahs.
Well, at least fer me lahs.
I really enjoyed it.
After movie, we went back sch 'cause gene left his black formal shoes ther.
Went back his place after that.
Flor went to iron all the clothes that me n gene need while I went to cook lunch.
Hung ard fer abit then me n gene went over to the condo next dr to meet the rest.
Crammed into the backseat of the car were five of us.
Plus nidda endure insentivity n mushy chats.
Poor me n gene.
Reached NUS guildhouse where the dinner will be held.
Though small, the ambience is great! On par with ane ballroom of a hotel.

Did sum ushering.. slacked ard then we went fer the dinner.
We were seated with my teacher's family frens.
Their boys are sooooo cute!!
I love the bride's gown n hairstyle!!
SO gorgeous lahs. She's wearing the nicenicenice tiara!! *envy*
Urms.. the MCs were ALRIGHT la. but the chinese translator wus sucky.
Food wus alright.

The BIG surprise of the night!!
Augustine sang a Chinese song - qing fei de yi, fer the bride.
take note: augustine can't speak proper chinese, don't understand chinese.
He not only tried to perfect his pronounciation, he also went to understand the meaning of the lyrics so tt he cld relate it well.
Isn't that so sweet of a guy?
Though it wus a great rendition, but I really applaud him fer his courage n love.
The bride wus in tears lahs.
Such a touching moment. *sniff sniff*
Don't think aneone wud ever do this fer me..=(

the night wus great.
except fer sum stupid disturbances here n there.
Lucky gene's ard.
But I really wished that Jer wus there lahs.
He would be able to handle everything.and that bastard wud hafta stab himself with the fork lahs.<br> But.. hais.. I jus dun wanna be part of the "when the present meets the past" headlines lahs.
N oh ya,
matt's hair caught fire while we were all up onstage fer the last toast.

Reached home real late n totally worn out.
Am still exhausted now.
But it's finally over.
Oh wells.
Congrats to the groom and best wishes to the bride den =)